dir. Candice T. Cain
This film is written and directed by Candy Cain. Can much more be said than that? Because Deck the Heart is about as cloying and tiresome as its writer-director’s moniker – or, well, the idiotic name of the film itself. The baffling story follows Chris, a man who stands to inherit his grandfather’s idyllic Maine home, but only if he hosts a Christmas party there. A typical legal situation for anyone. Being a helpless man baby who can’t throw some tinsel around and order in a few trays of potatoes by himself, Chris hires professional event planner Merry (yes, their names are Merry and Chris) for a frankly extortionate fee. Naturally, they grow closer over the several weeks it inexplicably takes Merry to hang some lights up outside Chris’ house. Moments of tension include Merry locking herself out on a balcony, Chris being yelled at by his big mean Scrooge-like boss, and Merry’s otherwise affable parents not being enthusiastic enough about Christmas for Merry’s liking. The film is terrible in its lack of substance, but what also really grates is its lack of style, and that’s not just limited to Merry’s hideous choice of decorations. The filmmaking is worse than amateur, with many strangely composed shots of two stiff-armed people talking at each other, fade-ins and fade-outs to archival footage of duck ponds, and sudden jump cuts to crowds of people manifesting in a room in the blink of an eye. Every single plot point which happens in Deck the Heart is expected, and yet with its mind-boggling filmmaking, it manages to surprise in every scene.
BMDb 