Morbius (2022)

dir. Daniel Espinosa

What can possibly be said about Morbius that hasn’t already been said? This adaptation of a Marvel superhero who tries to cure a blood disease and turns himself into a vampire instead has already been lambasted on every corner of the internet, and rightfully so. It is nonsensical – what plot there is is so insipid, so basic, that you regularly forget what’s happened minutes after it has. It is poorly acted, with every single performance either so overdone or underdone, it’s difficult to accept these are actual living human beings turning in professional performances. It is confusing, with the rules and abilities of the vampire creatures changing according to whatever best serves our protagonist at that time. It is, often, boring, with no action sequence holding any attention or interest. It is also bizarrely dark – not in tone (try though it might) but in actual colour, begging the audience to squint to see anything at all half the time. But there is nothing, absolutely nothing, in Morbius worth seeing. No wonder it bombed at the box office, twice.

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