1313: Giant Killer Bees (2011)

dir. David DeCoteau

This is but one of David DeCoteau’s inexplicable 1313 series. The key theme of all the 1313 movies? Young, sculpted, half-naked men. The men shower. The men swim. The men just walk around undressed for no reason at all. Basically, the 1313 films are soft, soft, softcore gay porn masquerading as legitimate movies, and 1313: Giant Killer Bees is no exception. There’s a scene of a man lying on a bed and rubbing his own chest, in silence. It lasts for eight minutes. There’s a scene of a man showering, in silence. It lasts for even longer. There’s some stupid nonsense about giant killer bees thrown in, though there’s no attempt to make it make sense – apparently all these men are scientists, something something experiment, something something giant killer bees. The thing is, if this film was solely an excuse to make a porno, it’d kind of be excused – but even more bewilderingly, the entire film ends on a fully clothed man going on a very slow walk around his local footpaths, in silence. That lasts even longer than the half-naked scenes. Just a bewildering experience all around.

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