Gooby (2009)

dir. Wilson Coneybeare

This alleged heart-warming coming-of-age tale is one of the most downright terrifying films to ever exist. A boy – who is way too old for the silly stick drawings of aliens he produces in his spare time – meets his childhood teddy bear, Gooby, come to life. Gooby is frankly one of the scariest sights, full-stop. His bulging eyes, his stiff limbs, the fact he’s even shown to have razor-sharp teeth in one particularly disturbing scene. Most of the film is the boy and Gooby running around woods or supermarkets, set to a soulful pop song, to show just how much they’re bonding. You’d be forgiven for thinking Gooby is supposed to be a mere figment of the lonely boy’s imagination, but the movie really goes out of its way to stress that, nope, the giant talking bear is real. Inexplicably, he’s voiced by Robbie Coltrane, who in 2009 definitely had better things to do, like working on the ongoing Harry Potter films. Although, the film has a definite air of having been shot in the ’90s – the haircuts, outfits, and Gameboys all suggest as such. So maybe it simply took a decade to get released, because no one wanted to attach their name to such an atrocity.

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