Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007)

dir. Tim Hill

This imagining of Alvin and the Chipmunks came to the fore during a peak period for terrible children’s films. In this one, our vacuous protagonist Dave meets Alvin, Simon and Theodore – our titular chipmunks, digitally added in so badly that it’s regularly extremely obvious the live action actors are speaking to thin air – and they do the usual things of trashing his house, sabotaging his job and generally being a nuisance. But of course, they warm his heart along the way. This movie follows every last lazy cliché, takes every lowest possible road, squeezes every last potential drop of imagination from the story, and is simply an irritating bore to sit through. The chipmunks’ sped up squeaky voices wind up barely making an impact, and are somehow the least annoying part of the movie. Instead, you’re too busy wondering whether on earth talking chipmunks are meant to be a novelty or not, seeing as everyone accepts the trio as their new popstar overlords pretty quickly. The emotional impact is supposed to be around whether or not Dave accepts the chipmunks as his sons – except he does vocally call them his sons, very early on, yet they subsequently go on and on about whether he’s willing to do it. This was always going to be a stupid film, but it’s somehow even more stupid than it seems.

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