Age of the Hobbits / Clash of the Empires / Lord of the Elves (2013)

dir. Joseph Lawson

It doesn’t even really know what its own title is, beyond being sure it wants to be some form of Lord of the Rings / The Hobbit rip-off that might bamboozle innocent viewers into thinking it’s the real thing. It even got a restraining order, prohibiting it from being released alongside The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey as intended. But what else can you expect from The Asylum? Predictably Age of the Hobbits doesn’t remotely compare to Tolkien’s creations. Sure, there are small “hobbit” creatures – there’s also flesh-eating dragon riders and an oppressive tyrannical race called the Java Men. There’s a lot of running around with bows and arrows, and mysterious hooded figures skulking about. It’s basically not a real film, in any meaningful sense of the word.