dir. Bill Condon
Breaking Dawn – Part 2 can only truly be summed up as infuriating. It makes a point of messing with its audience. Of course, there’s all the general Twilight absurdity. This movie decides to dwell on ideas such as Bella’s incomprehensible beauty (conveyed by Kristen Stewart having her eyebrows coloured in darker than normal) and the very normal idea that an adult wolf-man can take a look at a young girl and decide that he is going to lovingly devote his life to her. And everyone’s cool with it. We’re also treated to Bella and Edward zipping around in the woods, because now she’s a vampire she can do all this pointless stuff too. Spider monkey doesn’t need to hold tight anymore! But then the movie does the worst thing, and in its final act, suddenly starts feeling like a credible story. A compelling one, even. A big battle between factions, major character deaths – it’s so un-Twilight, and it’s great. We even get Michael Sheen’s unhinged chirpy cackle. It’s the absolute best thing they ever did in the Twilight films… until they do the ultimate dirty, have Dorothy wake up and realise it was all a dream, and thus turn it into the absolute worst thing they ever did in the Twilight films. Screw you, Twilight.