The Mummy (2017)

dir. Alex Kurtzman

The Mummy (1999) just never needed to be rebooted in the first place – it was already the ideal adventure film, with the right mix of suspense and spectacle. So of course Tom Cruise and co burst in, proclaiming they could do a much better job. The result is just so utterly flat and boring that sitting through the 110-minute film, you begin to heavily relate to the mummy who’s been buried underground for over 3,000 years. There’s an attempted feminist angle, but it doesn’t really do much beyond nudging and winking at its audience as it whispers, “Did you notice the mummy is a woman this time?!” At least The Mummy gives us the consolation prize of Tom Cruise’s unhinged scream, which we can only hope replaces the Wilhelm scream in due course.

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