dir. Neil Breen
A Neil Breen classic. One of the Neil Breeniest films to ever Neil Breen, perhaps only outclassed by Twisted Pair. The plot, if it can even be called that, is about as mental as can be expected from Breen: the hero is a hacker-novelist (standard) who unearths government secrets, while also reconnecting with his childhood best friend, while also grappling with the consequences of a magical object he interacted with in his youth. He’s now pretty much impervious to damage, healing rapidly from a car accident. Also pretty much every woman in the vicinity throws herself at him, powerless in the face of his limitless charm and chiselled good looks. Apparently. Fateful Findings is essentially Neil Breen telling the world that he is no less than a god, and should be viewed as such. As he tells the world about the “most secret government and corporate secrets” he’s unearthed, high-profile figures start to spontaneously kill themselves. They can only be considered a proxy for the audience. Any way necessary to stop Breen’s incessant prattling.